The Dam

February 8, 2013

Remember watching the news when hurricanes hit the coast and dams were breached, and water came flooding in, destroying everything in its path?  The devastation is almost unthinkable, and it’s hard to pick up the pieces (if there are any left) when something like that happens.  Many things are unrecognizable, and many lives start over again…or not.

Proverbs 17 says this: “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam…” Stirring up strife by complaining, criticizing, or arguing whittles away at the protective measures set in place in a marriage.  When we make our vows to one another, it’s like building a dam of protection against storms.  We’re committed, for better or worse, to love always. 

So what’s the rest of the verse? “…so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”  This is hard to do, when we “know” we’re right and we want to be heard.  But the truth is that quarreling and disputing only leads to unkind words and a flood that knocks us silly.

Frustrated or upset about something?  Take it to HIM.  He is able to deal with the matter at hand better than any words or looks you can give to your spouse. 

Before a dispute breaks out, remember the protection of the dam, and ask Him to calm the waters.

Gracious Words

A honeycomb drips of sweetness, doesn’t it? Almost too much to handle and way too much to digest in one sitting! And it's oh, so sticky...

However, Proverbs says “gracious words” are a honeycomb, “sweet to the soul” and also “healing to the bones.”

Kind, courteous, and pleasant words that come from a friend can make our day.  These same words from a boss can boost our confidence.  And these words and thoughts from our Maker can be so overwhelmingly satisfying they can bring us to our knees – overcome with gratitude and thanksgiving to be loved so much! 

Are you hurting? Is your soul sad? Are you hearing condemnation?  None of that is what He’s doing or saying. 

He has gracious words of mercy, love, and favor for you today.  Hear them and be healed.

Motives

Proverbs 16 says all of our own ways seem “pure” to us, but the Lord weighs our “motives.”

That’s a tough pill to swallow, as my mom would say.  We do things, react to people, and go about our day, feeling justified in all of our actions and thoughts.  But He looks at the reason behind what we do.  Not to bash us, but to bless us!

The next verse says if we commit to Him whatever we do (that’s a huge invitation to let it all go!) then He will establish our plans.  He not only leads us but he establishes and settles us!  That’s a huge commitment back on his part, just in return for us giving up control to Him.

The giving up control is the hard part.  We somehow see God as this judge who checks our heart all the time, only to see the holes and bruises, and to shame us for not  meeting His standards.  But in all of the Bible, God’s character shines through in that He is a loving Father who wants only the best – and that’s His “motive” for checking us out.

We can trust that when our motives are weighed and we are found wanting, He comes along and fills the holes and gaps so that we are good to go…whatever we do.

Discipline

I’ve read this verse before but never noticed something interesting: Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.

If we cast off discipline (training that molds and perfects our character) then we are said to despise ourselves.  Wow! How many times have we had to walk a hard path and we wondered why life has to be so difficult at the moment.  “God must be mad at us,” we think. 

The opposite is quite true, according to this verse!  Despising ourselves when times get tough and thinking the worst of our relationship with God is disregarding the very discipline (training) that gains us understanding!

When we heed correction (allow the training to take place and perfect our character) we gain!  We experience success! We achieve! We become a better person!

Physical exercise is a pain, and I think about avoiding it every time I start to do it.  If I think too long about it, I miss the opportunity, and the physical results are missed for that day.  But when I press through, discipline my body to move (and hurt), I feel so exhilarated afterwards, physically and mentally, and I experience gain.

Lord, help me to regard discipline with joy (yikes, this is hard) knowing the end result is gain.

Wise Counsel

Are you making plans for something big in your life?  Maybe a house purchase, a job change, a new relationship, or a dream adventure?  These plans are huge and could affect you in big ways, and fear looms because of the possibility of failure?

Proverbs 15 says that plans fail for lack of counsel – but with many advisers they succeed.  Advisers are good to have in your pocket…but with wisdom seated nearby. 

When we have plans that involve life changes, it’s wise to seek counsel, and it’s wiser still to seek counsel from wise people. In other words, get advice from someone you respect and who has the foundation and years of experience in walking with Him.  Don’t go to a friend just because you know they’ll agree with whatever you say.

Plans are fun, and hopefully they end up with dreams fulfilled.  But talking over plans and hearing sound wisdom – and then proceeding with caution and obedience – is always best. 

And doing anything that doesn’t agree with the Word? Don’t even think about it. :) 

Secure Refuge

Love this verse – Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge. (Proverbs 14)

There are countless adults who don’t enjoy returning home.  Either their parents fight, they have bad memories from being at home, or they swore when they left they’d never go back because of wounds and irreparable hurts. 

Fearing the Lord simply means loving Him, honoring Him, and obeying Him – out of love for who He is.  It is a personal walk with God that shows through kindness, gentleness, peace…(you know - those things called the fruit of the spirit).  It’s those sort of things that our kids see, way more than the things we say and tell them to do.  If we walk in relationship with Him, and it shows in our everyday life – this provides a “safe place” for our kids – forever.

I don’t want my kids to visit me out of duty or shame.  I want them to know that my house is a refuge – a place where they can always be themselves – and always feel loved.  I want them to know when life gets stormy, I’ll pray with them.  When life is good, I’ll rejoice with them. And when life is hard, I’ll walk with them.  All because I know He is with us.

Is your place a secure fortress?  The name of the Lord is a strong tower…just run to Him.

Wise Woman

A wise woman – that’s what I want to be – not a foolish one.

Proverbs 14 says a wise woman builds her house, but with “her own hands” a foolish woman tears hers down. That verse says to me that we have the capability in our own hands to either make our house strong and inviting…or weak and crumbling.

To build a house, one needs a foundation, walls, a roof, and a comfortable and cozy place inside in which to dwell.  I once taught a young man who lived in a house with no floor except dirt, and he slept by an open fire, and smelled of smoke every day at school.  That’s a house that’s been torn down or destroyed.  It’s surely not a home.

Too often we tear down our own “house” by criticizing our spouses, complaining about never having enough, or envying our neighbor.  That’s foolish. 

More often we should “build” our house with good words, thankful hearts, and contented blessings.  That’s wisdom.

Lord, I ask you for wisdom on how to build my house…not tear it down.